Screenshot of feedback is attached below, please make essay improvement based on

Screenshot of feedback is attached below, please make essay improvement based on feedback provided.
Instructions for Address the Opposing Viewpoints and Offer a Solution to Your Problem/Topic
Your goal in Essay 2 is to offer a solution to your opponents = readers who have the opposing/opposite point of view on your topic
While defending your position on your topic, you will identify a solution to the problem or issue at hand. An argument, in which only your views are presented and supported, is not an argument, since an argument has opposing views.
The most typical strategy for integrating opponents points of view into an argument is to think of the argument as a reasoned discussion, where those with contrary views argue particular opposing “points” on an issue. Your job is to now include viewpoints contrary to your own and then respond to those points, either with agreement (concession) or disagreement (refutation).
Remember to identify the issues in your thesis and explain why your issues are important. You should also demonstrate your authority of your topic by including your research to support your position and opinion so that your reader is willing to possibly agree with your research and interpretation of the topic and change their opinion.
For your research you must use citations for all your quotations, paraphrases, or summaries of another author’s facts and figures.

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